A Return to Reality

Dear readers

I do love a good book. I do love a good binge-worthy T.V. show. Lately I watched Anne with an E, and now I am rewatching it and have two episodes left. As always, when I finish a good T.V. series, I always wonder ... 

Whatever will I watch next? 

(In the case of Anne with an E, the answer to this specific question was to watch it for a second time.)

Accurate visual representation of how I think this stage of my life is going.
A walking klutz attempting to hide my issues with a pretty bow.
No offence to Anne. Poor Anne.
(Psst. Gilbert still loves you, Anne)

That's the sad reality of the average modern person, I imagine. We are all so very very good at escaping our realities that we enjoy watching alternate realities of fictional people and staged episodes--after all that editing and producing and re-runs, is not absolutely everything on T.V. and the media platform fictional? Unattainable? Unrealistic? 

Arguable, I admit. 

Here's a call to a return to reality. 

I think it is completely okay to just admit it when we're having an off day and to rest and binge on something wholesome that won't break the word of wisdom. I think it should be okay to admit doing this without any stigma. I love it when I ask other staff members what they do when they're not at work ... young people generally say they sleep. Yeah, you do that, and you do it proudly. 

But let's call back reality. I just want to get back onto the path of progression. My daily planner helps with that but I have stopped using it for a week, maybe two now (I actually don't know without my planner to tell me, oh the irony) and I have felt the consequence due to the absence of my usual organisation. Where is the consistency, without my planner? 

If my life and progression were mapped into a line graph; it would show a squiggly line waving up and down yet slowly but surely going in the upwards direction.

Me right now is therefore: progressively forward and up, but kinda on the downward spectrum. 

Tomorrow, or next week, I may be flying up, up and away. 

And then the week after that, I may be on my knees again, utterly humbled and hopeless at life. 

And during all of these crazy ups and downs (what am I even complaining about? I'm not really sure, but let's not compare lives) there is always one constant for all of us. 

He's there, if we believe it. If we choose to embrace it. 

Just like a friend who'll listen and quietly lend a calm presence while I cry, I know God never leaves me alone, any of us. 

God is our constant. 

And yet again ... it is 4:00am in the morning and this poor blog writer can't sleep on another Saturday night which is now Sunday morning... 

And yet again ... she finds the answer to her life's question in the Book of Mormon. 

I'll have you know that I read this book quite often. But sometimes, I need to reread passages days a part and realise that Heavenly Father had the answer in store for me before I even asked the question. And tonight, He comforts me by telling me that yes, I have this anxiety problem, and yes, it's kinda bad lately, but things do get better. Because He is a God of miracles and that will never change. 

For behold, I am God;--An indisputable declaration of reality,-- and I am a God of miracles;--I do wonder what miracles I need?-- and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever;--Show me, what should I do to have you work miracles in my life?-- and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith. 

Hm. I really love how Heavenly Father declares he will only show us his miracles--the proof of His existence--if we prove that we don't need proof to believe in Him, ie have faith.

Knowing this makes me wanna go and wake up Lawrence for some reason. Maybe argue about proving our love to each other and whatnot. But I shall resist. Sigh. On both accounts. 

So here's to a return to reality. And by that, I mean I need to stop binge watching and binge reading and really live my life to the fullest. Maybe write that novel I've been wanting to write. Maybe finish that online certificate I'm supposed to studying. Maybe go out more with my little sister and be there for her. All of the above.

And now here's me hopefully returning to bed until sunrise. 

Written with love,

Eliza.